I've written and deleted 2 other posts trying to get my thoughts straight, but it just ends up sounding like someone else. So here goes, straight-shooting.
I'm having a hysterectomy May 22 (assuming insurance ok's everything). It's due to a continuation of the issues I've been dealing with since last fall. I can't live a full life knowing there is cancer just hanging out, not when the only reason to do so is to "potentially" have a kid. Especially when neither my husband nor I have the drive to have children, and especially since the LEEP was invasive enough I was warned I'd be likely to be a higher-than-normal risk pregnancy.
So, I'm getting spayed.
I'm angry. I'm upset. I'm a little scared, since I can still remember the burn of the anesthesia from my last surgery (I went under crying). I see the irony that just when I'm finally finding my speed, I'm looking at having to take time off and will probably be back to molasses.
But, by dealing with it, the hope is that this will be the end of the issue.
And I'll be back to running soon enough that I won't miss much of my training for the AF Marathon, so I know I'll finish the race. And then I can tackle the Veteran's Marathon. And because I refuse to let this health blip get in the way of my life, I will be signing up for the Huff 50K when I get paid at the end of the month. I may be erasing any time goals I had for these events, and I may be coming to terms with the fact that I definitely won't be hitting 1000 miles this year, but whatever. I will still be running.
Right now, my concern is to make sure the insurance process goes as smoothly as possible (should know on Wednesday if it is approved). Once that happens, I hope this next month flies by so I don't have time to dread it. And then, I hope that the recovery process goes by just as quickly, so I can get back to running.
So, that's that.