I've written and deleted 2 other posts trying to get my thoughts straight, but it just ends up sounding like someone else. So here goes, straight-shooting.
I'm having a hysterectomy May 22 (assuming insurance ok's everything). It's due to a continuation of the issues I've been dealing with since last fall. I can't live a full life knowing there is cancer just hanging out, not when the only reason to do so is to "potentially" have a kid. Especially when neither my husband nor I have the drive to have children, and especially since the LEEP was invasive enough I was warned I'd be likely to be a higher-than-normal risk pregnancy.
So, I'm getting spayed.
I'm angry. I'm upset. I'm a little scared, since I can still remember the burn of the anesthesia from my last surgery (I went under crying). I see the irony that just when I'm finally finding my speed, I'm looking at having to take time off and will probably be back to molasses.
But, by dealing with it, the hope is that this will be the end of the issue.
And I'll be back to running soon enough that I won't miss much of my training for the AF Marathon, so I know I'll finish the race. And then I can tackle the Veteran's Marathon. And because I refuse to let this health blip get in the way of my life, I will be signing up for the Huff 50K when I get paid at the end of the month. I may be erasing any time goals I had for these events, and I may be coming to terms with the fact that I definitely won't be hitting 1000 miles this year, but whatever. I will still be running.
Right now, my concern is to make sure the insurance process goes as smoothly as possible (should know on Wednesday if it is approved). Once that happens, I hope this next month flies by so I don't have time to dread it. And then, I hope that the recovery process goes by just as quickly, so I can get back to running.
So, that's that.
Hugs to you and prayers for a speedy recovery
ReplyDeleteLots of hugs to you Kasey. If you need anything or just want to vent shoot me an email anytime. I'm sorry you have to go through the surgery but I pray it goes smoothly and you'll have a speedy recovery.
ReplyDeleteYes to hugs. So sorry to hear about this, and my thoughts will be with you for a quick, safe recovery. And while not the same, I came back to running fairly quickly after a C-section. Stay strong till surgery and you'll come back strong. And you never known- you might twist someone's arm for December ;)
ReplyDeletesorry you have to have surgery, I hope everything goes smoothly and you are back to running with ease soon. I hope it doesn't burn as bad this time for you, I assume you are talking about the medicine that goes in the IV, if they can get your IV in a bigger vein it doesn't hurt as bad as say a smaller hand vein. also you can ask if they will put a little lidocaine in to numb up the vein before they inject the propofol. ( I work in the operating room)
ReplyDeleteTough choices to make! I hope all goes well and you have a fast recovery.
ReplyDeleteSending love and hugs your way. I was faced with that same decision when I was 22 (won't mention how long ago that was, LOL.... let's just say it's been a while!) and I know how scary and frustrating it all is. Insurance companies made it even more frustrating and I was angry a LOT (at everyone and everything)!!! I chose a different path than the one you're taking but I know people who opted for your path. The "C" word is horrible and I wish it didn't exist. If you need to vent, I'm happy to listen. I know where you're at right now and I pray you get through it with as much peace as possible, all things considered.
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