Friday, August 2, 2013

Let's get REAL

Guess what? I HAVE CELLULITE!!!!
Feel free to zoom on my thighs. I've mastered the pose that makes it less visible, but it is still there. And probably always will be, if that terrible obsession/experiment of getting to 98 pounds when I was 20 proves anything. At 98 pounds, I ruined my bones, worsened my eyesight, and STILL HAD CELLULITE.

So you know what I do? I say eff it. I've learned to be ok with it. We are not friends and never will be, but I'll let that freeloader ride around my thighs as long as she still lets the muscle show through most days. Because I'd rather be strong with a little dimpling on my legs than back to having weak bones (eating that little and that poorly took about 7 years to get my skeletal system back to normal... even after I'd finally made leaps and bounds mentally, my body reminded me it needs love 100% of the time).

Know what I've realized? NO ONE ELSE SEES IT. I'm probably the only one who looks at the side of my thighs when I sit down wearing shorts. I'm the only one who gets bothered by it when I fold over to stretch my hamstrings. I know for a fact my husband sees nothing wrong with it (btw: he's balding. and doesn't give 2 poops about it. I love it when he shaves his head).

My whole point is this: we all have issues, insecurities, etc. My students often ask me what I do for my arm workouts, or abs workouts.... they don't even notice the cellulite. We are our own worst critics. Once I stopped loathing myself and began to love myself, a true miracle happened: I WAS HAPPY. And then I met my husband. Funny how that works. And he has been there to remind me any time the stupid voices begin that they are just that: stupid.

Through my journey of being overweight, then underweight, and now healthy, I've made my motto:

What's the point of being skinny if you can't open a jar? Because believe me, when I was under 100, I could barely open a box of cereal.

I still have moments of negativity. My arms don't always fit in T-shirt sleeves. Where the old version of me might have been defeated, afraid I was getting fat again, and would have then went on a self-loathing rampage, now I look in the mirror and flex. Bam. Muscle. I am strong, I am powerful, I am awesome. Not perfect, but where's the fun in that, anyway?

Do yourself a favor every time you find something you hate: find 2 more that you love. They could be your eyelashes. Your cheekbones. Whatever. Self-love over loathing. There's a rockstar inside all of us, even if our singing makes dogs cringe.

1 comment:

  1. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said no one else sees it. Too often what we don't love is nothing that anyone else really even notices. I think you look great by the way! The first thing I thought when I first saw this picture was how fit you look.


FREE questions and comments! Complaints will be read for a nominal fee of $17,000.